唯美地憂傷著，華麗地黑暗著

X Japan號稱是日本元祖級的視覺系搖滾樂團，除了暴烈而又抒情的音樂，唯美華麗也與他們的血液同流，所以在他們的演唱會，可以看到他們極端刺激視覺的妝扮造型，而穿著法國路易皇朝宮廷服的鋼琴手／鼓手yoshiki，以及頂著火焰髮的吉他手（已故）hide簡直是雌雄同體的絕色金身。還有yoshiki的鋼琴和鼓器，必然是特別定造才能有那種清澈的華麗視效的吧，彷彿只存在少女漫畫似的，我快要覺得血色薔薇也要漫天飄灑了……

X Japan於1982年成軍出道，在日本富裕到似是繁華無止境的八十年代間，他們初期是完全不被日本演藝界接受的，並且被樂評譏為“垃圾樂隊”而拒斥於主流之外。那個時候他們的妝扮比youtube上90年代初期模樣更讓視覺爆點，要是讓咱們的爸媽看到，很可能會毫不保留地相信是批日本來的妖怪吧，就是妖野到那種程度，大概連老妖級的glam rock教父大衛寶爺也要嘆為觀止。然而他們現在已經是日本國寶級的天團了，Yoshiki甚至在日本第二度主辦的2005年度萬國博覽會上指揮一個百人交響樂團（其時X Japan已經解散，不過Yoshiki畢竟是一個全能型的音樂天才），作為開幕禮的獻樂。

我在youtube找到他們演唱〈Art of Life〉這首搖滾交響詩篇的全首組曲，共分5個時段才能完整呈現出來。我個人還是喜歡在一片闇寂中閉上眼睛傾聽MP3裡傳出那首歌的感覺，因為演唱會的視效太過於華麗了，讓人分神於樂者如同入魔的表演上，而且因為樂曲的時程太長，必須分成5節來放，聆聽的情緒會一再被打斷，所以建議最好聽了歌曲再來看youtube上的演唱片段，不過我不知道去哪裡下載呢，我的音樂檔案都是朋友抄錄給我的。

Yoshiki寫的〈Art of Life〉即使不是一首讓人震憾的搖滾詩篇，光以文字來看，也是一首讓人靜寂沉思的詩吧，我每次聽到主音Toshi唱到「I believe in the madness called " Now " ／Past and future prison my heart ／Time is blind ／But I wanna trace my heart……」就覺得要窒息一樣。

I believe in the madness called NOW.

多麼美的一個句子。美得只能止息欣賞。

而往往在一個呼吸之間，現在，就永遠地過去了。

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUhwNWzdIAc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq3nr-njPow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoSOteq6Vsw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pvn2xy-WnmY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx_06NHall8



〈ART of LIFE〉 by YOSHIKI of X JAPAN

Desert Rose
Why do you live alone
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red
All I can see is drowning in cold gray sand

The winds of time
You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst
I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain

I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you
Can't go back
No place to go back to
Life is lost. Flowers fall
If it's all dream
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me

I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in gray
I never wanna feel more pain
Run away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love

Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold over me

Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within
"All existence you see before you
must be wipe out:
Dream, Reality, Memories
and Yourself."

I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love

Stab the doll filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for preasure

I believe in the madness called " Now "
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my heart
On the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live. Cannot end my life
Keep on crying

Close my eyes
Time breath I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart

Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life outside my wall

You can't draw a picture of yesterday , so
You're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say "No"
Only turning the wheel of time
with a rope around your neck
You build a wall of morality and take a breath
from between the bricks
You make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You are putting the scraps of life together
and trying to make an asylum for yourself
You're hitting a bell at the edag of the stage
and
You are trying to kill me

I believe in the madness called " Now "
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live? Do I try to love
in my dream

I am breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop
I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in chains of memory half-blinded
Losing my heart, walking in the sea of dream

Close my eyes
Rose breathes I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life outside my wall

Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth
What truth are lies

Art of life Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I am feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
in my life

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